a letter to God

i have to admit, i'm upset right now
whether it's at you or simply at the universe- i'm not quite sure
i just know that i'm upset

you see, all my life i've had this thing i've come to know as faith
faith in you
faith in there actually being a purpose for me in this life
faith that i'm not to spend the rest of my life asking questions

happiness seems to come in very short pieces of time
or so it seems- at least recently
i know i should count my blessings as they are now, and i do
but i can remember a time when things made sense
when i was always happy- and about everything
now i find myself asking "what the fuck" or "what's the point"
and "why... just why?"

why am i crippled i so many ways
why can't i find the strength, courage & wisdom i need to surpass all this
why do i have so many questions & so few answers
and if you are a God that is too good for us to have fear,
why am i always scared?

i keep believing & trusting that it'll all turn around & get better
but i don't know how much longer i can last
i know i'm here in this place & time for a reason
but at this point it seems it's just to take up space

i still have faith
but that candle begins to flicker more and more with each passing day
as this bubble in which i am confined gets tighter and void of oxygen

i'd love to breathe again
i'd love to be free again

so if you'd kindly burst this bubble
and set this eagle free
it would be GREATLY appreciated

thank you,
will