loner

it's midnight on a saturday, well sunday now
and while the rest of NYC is on their way out
i'm on my way to bed

from the window of my second floor apartment
i stand in my pajamas
and watch
as my neighbors and their friends
leave the comforts of home for the night
only to return early in the morning
exhausted
yet satisfied

i should go out
i would go out
if only i really knew what going out was,
what it meant and how to go about doing it
and also
if there were others- friends
with which i could say my time was spent

but here i stand
looking out at a world
that is passing me by
and swallowing me whole

different people passing- coming and going
but only one thought set in stone
i wish i was going out tonight
and i wish i wasn't alone